THIS IS THE FUTURE & THE FUTURE IS SICK WID IT

TightHelluv.Com is proud as FUCK to introduce you all to the next Messiah of Bay hip hop, and it may not surprise you to learn his ROYAL Bay Area lineage. But you may be surprised to learn that he is only 15 years old. BEAST BAY STAND UP! Please, meet ISSUE, the Young Prince of Sick Wid It Records.

Ima be BLUNT(would you expect anything less?): This post is going to be long, and it is going to be intense (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID). It is going to include a whole lot of Tighness in various mediums, across various generations, across Bridges, across socioeconomics, across race and religion, across the Internet and most importantly across the space that divides us, but tied together in Tightness by the one thing that binds us all together: BayLuv.

I am always honest from the start, so consider this your disclaimer: you might contract Tightabeetus or even HepaTIGHTus.C by the end of this post. We go BUFFALO at TightHelluv.Com. Aggressful about Being Successful. Real Monstrous man. Real Beasty. It isn't always clean, it isn't always glamorous, it isn't always even Tightness. Sometimes the Lameness momentarily overwhelms the Tightness in order to maintain the delicate balance of the Universe. But things are changing. The power of the Tightness is welling up, bubbling and churning beneath the soil on which the Bay Area majestically rests... waits... marinates... prepares.... because we all know that the way things have been going recently have been a clear sign that our American way of life is not working out the way George Washington intended. In fact, we kinda took his vision, his creation, his wisdom, his baby, that which he sacrificed a life of normalcy, anonymity, and comfort for, and we have gone laxative crazy, just like Jeff Daniels' HARRY in Dumb & Dumber, and DIARRHELLUVed all over that shit, projectile status, with all the squeaks and sprays we could muster. America has collectively sharted all over that which used to be sacred to us. Pissed directly on to the life's work of a 33rd Degree Mason, and someone who, on the dome of the Capital in the City and district now bearing his name, is majestically depicted going through the process of Apotheosis - that is, the process of becoming a god. We were climbing up the ladder and we felt something splatter...diarrhea.... Diarrhea....on the work of a god.

This life's work was most clearly to lay the framework for a place that like Egypt, Atlantis, and the many before it, would serve as the Epicenter of Tightness, the Black Hole(luv) of Lameness, the Fertile Lands of Enlightenment and Awakening, Understanding, and Evolving Humanity...most simply, the place on this Earth that gives the rest of the world EXACTLY and PRECISELY what it needs to grow, unify, and EvoLuv. America, the alleged, so-called UNITED States, thereof. But here's the thing...not all parts of the promised land are created equalluv. Each part offers that which they may, but nowhere else in America the Beautiful harnesses and embodies the power, pills, beauty, grandeur, trees, intellect, awareness, support, community, and last but NEVER least, LUV, quite as well as the Bay Area. And that, my friends, is why BayLuv is so fucking TH.Crucial right fucking now.

Separation of Church and State. A land where freedom is key. Freedom to be anything, freedom to do anything. FREEDOM TO CHOOSE, freedom not to. But at very least, a baseline support for the fact that you should be doin you, and I will be doin me, whatever that means. If I go to Mass and you go to Mosque, then that's tight. If I like indica and you dig sativa, at least we are both helluvbrating the ganj. Marijuanosseur status. I'm a hyphy kid, you're a raver...it's time for us to realize that we should have been in this together from the start, rather than conquering and dividing, weakening both movements to such a level that some bougie fear and control tactics actually take hold over the divine framework we were given, and begin, little by little, with the help of other bougie, marginally-powerful and overwhelmingly selfish movements, to beat down the beauty, freedoms, rights, and gifts we were intended.

To the point where we have devolved so intently that our culture falls prey to, and accepts the advice and opinions of the right wing conservative Bible Fuckers whose eyes have been so blinded by errant ejaculate from their reaction to the book of Genejizz or Genesiskeet that they cannot see TH.Clearly, and whose dicks are trying so hard to find a hole in the Old Testament they can slide up in that they end up utilizing a "wide stance" and "ACCIDENTLY" finding their way into some other dude's mouth in an airport bathroom stall in Minneapolis, Minnesota. And devolved to the point where FoxNews is SERIOUSLY allowed to call itself news, and to the point where they scare and confuse actual Americans into buying into it. To the point that Wall Street is on the verge of TH.Collapse. To the point where with a Bachelor of Arts in Communication with a double emphasis in Entertainment, Media, and Society, and Advertising/Marketing from the greatest Communications school in America and therefore the world, The Annenberg School for Communications of the University of Southern California, a degree that cost upwards of a Bentley drop, and taught me each and every one of the skilluvs you see in use on TightHelluv.Com on the daily, amounts to nothing more than AN EXPENSIVE ASS POSTER, and qualifies you for nothing more than sitting on Funemployment, hoping and praying you can pay back the student loan bills they promised you could afford once you graduated. To the point where you literally have no other option than to sit at home, starving, and even more hungry for success, spinning and spinning like a Whirling Dervish until you have created a TH.Cyclone and out of the eye of the storm emerges BayLuv. Just what the world needs.

And suddenly, Washington's third eye gleams with pride.

So I mean, really, it's almost like George Washington and the Founding Fathers created this magnificent country JUST FOR YOU. JUST FOR NOW. Just for the inevitable moment when the Bay would realize its true power as the TH.Catalyst for our Salvation, Awakening, and Transendence, and start to take control of it and REALLY Spread the BayLuv and Tightness just as far as it could possibly go, for the future of all of us. Just like it did with the Beatniks. Just like it did with the Hippies. Just like it did with the 70's Psychadelic "Scientists". Just like it did with the independent Bay Hip Hop community. Just like it did with the Ravers. And now, how it is going to again, hopefully, through the combination or Sharing of the Tightness, if you willuv, between TightHelluv.Com and Sick Wid It Records. Between a Jefe Helluv, and a bunch of Bosses. Between one Bakedspeare of Bay Slang and another Bakedspeare of Bay Slang. Between one 707 Mouthpiece who is a Legend and a GOD (whose roots go helluv far back to Floyd Terrace), and another 707 Mouthpiece who knows that lips, tongue and teeth HE was blessed with are powerful enough to be able to have some impact and to cause some inspiration - who is just learning that in order to be a Legend or a GOD, all you gotta do is believe that you are, and then be it. It really is that simple.

So without further adieu, I begin the story I am spitting for you in the same exact place where my mind was rotating and revolving three nights ago. The Night the BayLuv Movement was legitimately born. Brain overwhelmed by the depth and power of the Bay, when all of a sudden, on my Facebook feed, I see the following link, provided by another Bay Legend in the making, another Ganjenius that I profoundly respect and have for years, Droop-E The Fedi Fetcher, the mindbogglingly talented and gifted son of The Ambassador of the Tight, E-40 himself, one of my absolute Top 3 Bay Idols and Models for Tightness. Droop-E himself was sharing it from somebody else whose name I glanced over at first. I just saw that Droop-E was posting something, and knew that someone so legit would never SHARE anything but Tightness. So despite its vague title and not recognizing the original name of the person to share the link, I felt compelled to download the link regardless, trusting it's gotta be tight. He's from the First Family of the Bay, from the Bloodline of the Bay Kings. I know when to trust history. It looked something like this:

LimeLinx - Preview - ISSUE - TheE.zip

So being the consummate Internet Pirate (I like BOOTY) that I am, I caught TIGHTPHOID and Scurvy, let out a big ARGGGH and made that shit mines. Intrigued and slightly anxious as it downloaded, somewhat painstakingly slowly, I felt the need to medicate and Breathe the Tightness. Two hits of OG Granddaddy later, the file was unzipped, imported into my iTunes, and my index finger was itching to double-click the trigger and get down to the bottom of this. And that is when it happened. My life literally changed in one moment. From the millisecond the first note dropped, I knew that the future of the Bay Area music scene would never be the same. The first thing that caught my eye was the cover art for the mixtape, whose giant E in "SEGA" font was immediately recognizable to a 80s TH.Child like El Jefe, but not more r-helluv-ant than that which I saw with my HelluvVision at the bottom: The Sick Wid It Team. Without any clue who or what I was listening to, I knew in that moment that the future has arrived, and the future is SICK WID IT!

Was I surprised? In retrospect, absolutely not. Sick Wid It Records has been KILLING the game in 2010, and more specifically, in the last few months. I'm not sure if anyone else has been taking notice as closely as I have (other than my roommates who have heard nothing but Sick Wid It mixtapes knocking the fuck out of the walls in between us), but between Uncle 40Water's EPIC double disc release "Revenue Retrievin," Cousin Fik's "No Gravity" album, and Droop-E's HIGHly publicized and helluvbrated TH.Collection "Droop-E: The Bay Genius, Vol. 1," it has been a TH.Constant battle for Supremacy going on in my iTunes in 2010, and all of the artists going to war for control of my eardrums seem to be either Sick Wid It bosses, or up and coming Bay prophets. Be it The Cataracs, Roach Gigz, Pac B, Rafael Casal and the Getback Crew, Lil B the BasedGod of The Pack, anything Husalah be on, or E-40, Droop-E, Cousin Fik, or whoever the fuck it was that I was listening to on this mixtape, titled, simply, "The E Mixtape." Who the fuck is this, by the way?

That's when El Jefe went into Sherlock Holmes Beast Mode and retraced his steps to get to the bottom of this once and for all. ISSUE. This fool's name is ISSUE. But why haven't I heard of him before? I am pretty sure that as closely as I follow everything the Bay has to offer, I would know about somebody this fucking tight ON SICK WID IT RECORDS, no less. This ISSUE dude is causing me an issue - either I have some SERIOUS DELIRIUM or else this Bay ganj is getting too good and erasing not just short-term memory, but memory in general. OK, Jefe. Be cool. You can do this. Droop-E shared this from somebody else...who was it? I furiously hit the BACK button until I found the exact location that I previously ganked the .zip file. Droop E The Fedifetcher via Emari Stevens. OK, hold up. STEVENS? Like Earl Stevens? Like Mr. I Be More Hipper Than a Hippopotamus himself, helluv? So ISSUE's related to 40? And that's when it hit me...THERE'S ANOTHER ONE. Droop-E got a brother. 40's DNA done replicated again. I guess the Bay ganj IS getting too good. I forgot E-40 had another son, another prince in the bloodline. His name is Emari, his monicker is ISSUE, and his mission is simple: BE THE TIGHTNESS. And you can consider that mission TH.Conquered!

TH.Commence the arguments and evidence in Case #420707925 of The Lameness v. Emari "ISSUE" Stevens, 2010, in which it is alleged by the Prosecution that ISSUE is anything and everything less than that which he, his family, his fans, and El Jefe Helluv KNOW to be true - THAT HE IS INDEED THE CHOSEN ONE. You see, the Lameness just LOVES to try and TH.Costume up the Tightness, and to frame it wherever possible. The Lameness accuses us all of floundering, flailing, being uncertain, being incapable, being scared, frightened, paranoid, or depressed. It just loves to come with its acrylic nailluvs, purple eyeshadow, fishnet TIGHTs, and t-high-t heels, to attempt an ambush makeover, to try and pimp your ass out on Craigslist or in Vegas. Put your heels on the Strip, see what you make us, "Dollalalala Lotsa Paper" status. The Lameness will attempt to flip positives into negatives, and to flip your ass down the pole ($1 bills comin out yer asshole), the equal and opposite (and helluv fucked up) reaction to The Tightness, which flips negatives into positives and allows us to evolve. The Tightness will seek vindication, a declaration of innocence, and TH.Considerable punitive damages in its countersuit against the Lameness in TH.Civil Court. The Lameness will seek a mandatory minimum sentence of 5 years in Federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison. Well luckily, due to possible threats of violence and rioting in the 707 and 925, the case will be heard on the Internet rather than in the BEAST Bay and in an unprecedented move, Judge HONORABLE MOST HIGH El Jefe Helluv, Esquire will also be serving as the defense's lead counsel, in what would appear to be a TH.Conflict of interest, unless you strap on your 4D HelluvVision Stunnaz and manifest your own rules for the game.

THE LAMENESS ASSERTS: first and foremost, that ISSUE cannot possibly be The Chosen One. He is only 15 years old. Merely a boy. Hasn't lived, seen, or experienced enough of life to have a true understanding of or grasp on the ways of the world. Hasn't had a music deal before. Hasn't released any albums, LPs, or mixtapes. Hasn't even hit upper classman status in HIGH school. Therefore, ISSUE could not possibly be qualified to lead the next generation of Bay Area rapper/producer/BOSSES toward the next step up the mountain because he is still rapping about SEGA and Dragon Ball Z.

Well, Lameness, you do make a valid argument. ISSUE REALLY IS ONLY 15 YEARS OLD, an age considered by the majority of our society to be immature, incapable, partially complete, in a period of transition, and less wise than someone, say, 18, or even better, 21. Because we all know how much MORE MATURE and RESPONSIBLE you magically become on your 21st birthday than you had been three years before that when you were old enough to die for your country in the desert, but not old enough to enjoy a dessert wine after dinner. But, El Jefe Helluv will proudly step down in order to let TH.Clairvoyant co-counsel DAVE CHAPPELLUV ask the question, "How old is 15, really?"

Definitely, I second EVERYTHING Dave said and the Defense does as welluv. And truly, if you want to play that 15 year old bullshit, then I have but one sentence for you. MOZART WAS 6 YEARS OLD WHEN HE STARTED CHANGING THE WORLD, playing TH.Concerts and major courts with his sister Maria, which makes ISSUE more than DOUBLEY as WISE and ENLIGHTENED as Mozart. And another thing. Droop-E is GUARANTEED TIGHTER and MORE SICK WID IT than that beezie Maria Mozart. I know Maria never got bass to sound like he does, and even though I didn't have the privilege of meeting her, I can unequivocally say, she could not have produced a slap as Stewie as the beat for "Stewie" or as BUFFALO as the beat for "Buffalo". That's right. I said it. Open Your Eyes and re-read it. And speaking of OPENING YOUR EYES, let me take away your HelluvVision for a minute, and your regular vision too, and give you BRAILLE and/or BRAILLUV, if you willuv, when 15 year old Louis Braille DEV-HELLA-PED the remarkably advanced system that allowed TH.Communication, Education, Knowledge, and Empowerment for those who physically were incapable of seeing in HelluvVision on their own.

Now, what was that you were saying about ONLY 15? What 15 year old do you know who is flawlessly balancing producing, rapping, writing, a multi-record deal with a major label, the first few years of high school and all that entails, D-line Outside Tackling, Arizona Iced Tea guzzling world records, putting on swag workshops, dealing with being the son of a fucking legend, and dealing with the realizations that come from the self-discovery of Tightness of this magnitude? NOT A SINGLE ONE. I am 27 and I am not even sure that I could handle all that. Well, on second thought, yes I do. But it wouldn't be easy, and it would require a skill set that is kind of impossible to teach or learn...Bay Area Bossiness. Some sort of otherworldly understanding, some sort of Bay Area 51 secret knowledge, some sort of Baylien trait that only a MASTER, a BOSS, a PRINCE, a PHARAOH, a COMMANDER, a GENERAL, a CAPTAIN, A LIEUTENANTIGHT, a PILOT, a JEDI, or an EXTRA TIGHT-RESTRIAL could posess. Or I guess, a rat too cuz he likes to munch on some cheese and stuff.

And furthermore, Lameness, you mentioned that he had never had a deal, never produced a record, never released a mixtape, never even come up on an LP prior to "The E Mixtape." All duly noted, and very true. However, after signing a TH.Contract that guarantees him at least four more Sick Wid It Releases after this one, there aint nobody who should or could say shit to that regard anymore. DO YOU have a 5 release deal with E-Feezy's Sick Wid It Records? I didn't think so. Did E-40 have the balls, brains, bossiness, and belief in his bloodline to bless his boys with beaucoup bucks and a blast-off? (ALLITERATION IS TIGHT!) HELLUV! There's no doubt in my mind that 40 knew there would be some scrutiny and questioning of his leadership from SOMEBODY, at least one Judas, but most likely more, who, so paralyzed by fear and doubt and entranced by the simplicity and redundency of The Lameness, would decide, like Boss Tanaka in Kill Billuv, to question the lineage, the majesty, and the DNA of the Boss...I am sure at least somebody questioned The Ambassador's clearly brilliantly-strategizing mind, if even for a second, and if so, I can only hope their head landed facing up so they could look into his eyes and feel the overwhelming power of The Tightness behind his pupilluvs in the last few seconds of consciousness, post-severance.

THE LAMENESS ALSO ASSERTS: His flows are alternatingly non-sensical and non-rhyming, his delivery and lyrical topicality are all over the map, sloppy and random at best, and neanderthal, cro-magnon, at worst. Though his samples certainly testify to a slightly more evolved understanding of and appreciation for music history and tonality than any of his cronies or TH.Contemporaries, he is still rapping about Saleens, Spaceships, SEGAS, Singing, Super Sayian, and SPACE. These are not topics commonly associated with REVOLUTIONARY LEADERS of revolutionary scenes, as TH.C contends.

Of course, you say sloppy and random and I say MASTER PLAN SWAG and TH.Calculated! Yes, you know what? His flows are most certainly a bit raw and untouched, a bit all over the place, a bit outside the realm of meter or rhyme scheme. His beats, too, are experimental, and unconventional. On the surface, I am sure "immature" and "questionable" come to mind. To the underdev-HELLA-ped ear, to the unevolved soulluv, to the lesser beings among us, to those still afflicted with the Lameness, sure these are some good keywords to use to describe ISSUE to your Venus Fly Trap of a brain. And even as a professional music critic for IGN Music, I always took my time, put in my work, did the effort, translated, listened multiple times, and caught on for the idiosyncracies that make me truly appreciate each artist I see for something. The funny part is that for me, hearing explanations of ISSUE that are framed in such a way seem so pathetically short-sighted, off topic, and irr-HELLUV-ant that it is next to impossible to even address them. I wouldn't know. I heard IT from the millisecond the first note floated into my TH.Consciousness. I can't go back now and pretend that I heard anything other than THE FUTURE OF THE BAY in "The E Mixtape," but what I can do is attempt to explain, once and for all, why, precisely, I think ISSUE is so fucking dope.

Admittedly, I am blessed enough to say that I had the privilege of growing up in a world and a culture where lyrical and rhythmic geniuses like 2Pac and E-40 laid the groundwork not just for other rappers, hip hop performers, singers, producers, and music industry giants, but for the 10 year old whiteboys in Sonoma who heard "Sprinkle Me" or JV High School Baseball captains who taught the Stat Girls to yell "I WANNA BE SAAAAAAAAVED" every time he struck out an opposing batter. Or how about the USC juniors from the Bay who hooked up their X-Box to their stereo system, spun it around from the living room and out the window to the giant Victorian porch overlooking a grimey Los Angeles street, plugged in a microphone and rapped every word of "My Ghetto Report Card" as we shared in his second wind and watched with pride as the Bay did it again with the Hyphy movement. Or better yet, when those USC students were 3 hours early to stand in line at The Roxy for the filming of the Jamie Kennedy show where Uncle 40Water presented him his record deal thru WBR, and in addition, as a surprise, performed "U and Dat" (a song that I honestly contend will NEVER get old) with the then-unknown or BARELY known T-Pain who we met out front. Even in times where shit was less than stellar in the life of a Jefe, E-40 had a jam like "Pain No More" that resonated in my heart and dome that would help me make sense of my situation. E-40 has and will forever be one of the best fucking things about living in the Bay Area in the 21st century. So when his son Droop E started out slowly producing beats and tracks with some sort of other level knock woven intricately into the hyphy ass slaptasticness of that period, I gave DANKS & PRAISE to the Bay for blessing us again, this time with someone who would ensure that Feezy's legacy would not only live, but thrive, long into the future. And while Droop E is nothing to scoff at on the mic, he truly seems most comfortable behind the control panel, which is exactly where I want him to be if that is where he feels most TH.Comfy.

So, finally, the reason I think ISSUE struck such a strong TH.Chord within a Jefe is because he is the amalgamation of both Droop E and E Feezeable, and while he is composed of so much more than just "Droop + Pops", ISSUE is MOST exciting because he shows incredible, unbelievable promise to conquer and embody the best parts of the other two members of their Tightness Trinity, Tightness Triangle, or Tightness Pyramid, while manifesting his own influence on his persona as he goes along, all the while avoiding the inherent and unnecessarily negative and violence-laden gangsta element. And I think that even more exciting than his promise to blend the best parts of Droop E and Uncle E Foe Oh is the fact that he feels the freedom, confidence and positivity to say and do any and everything he fucking wants or feels he should. Perhaps it is the lack of pressure, the lack of fear and doubt, the fact that the music industry is still a first-hand unknown to this 15 year old phenom from the EastBay and vice versa , the fact that this is his first rodeo, and he has never known failure. Maybe it is youthful exuberance, the inherent cockiness of being 15 years old. Maybe it is the fact that he seems to be one of the most humble and down to earth, spiritually aware teenagers I have witnessed since my 15 year old self. He has talents with the way he perceives music, be it through sight or a sixth musical sense, he just vibrates at a different frequency. The way he is able to mesh helluvments into a beat, sample something totally out of place but then make it truly into something TIGHT, HELLUV is nothing short of inspirational, a bit alchemical, and kind of magical. Maybe it is a combination of all that. Or maybe it is none of it. It is all speculation as far as I am concerned, and frankly, to me, it doesn't matter. I know for a fact from our (admittedly brief &) limited conversations that he is a cool ass dude, a humble cat, an appreciative homie, and a real ass Baylien. And because Tight Fucks Wit Tight, Helluv and Game Recognize Game, and because it takes one to know one, I saw the Tightness within Emari Stevens before I even knew Emari Stevens existed.

I'd like to end this EPIC fucking post by spittin directly at ISSUE for a minute. E, you are the future. Know this. Take it seriously, but don't trip off it. Find freedom in the fact that we don't expect anything out of you - you can literally take it any place you want. And know that in your veins runs BayLuv, so strong, and so deep it transcends the physicality of the Bay itself, goes with you where you go, and deposits itself in small amounts wherever you go. Slowly but surely, the BayLuv is SPREADING all over the world, and eventually we will be touchin Ozone as we ascend toward the atmosphere. Keep your eyes open, keep them HelluvVision 4D DUMMY GOGGLES on at all times. Learn from the very best, which should be convenient for you considering you have ACCESS, HELLUV. TH.Collaborate with as many Bay artists as you can. Teach them what you can and take from them the wisdom and support you need to EvoLuv and thrive. The Bay is a giant symbiotic relationship, and a successful one at that. No matter what you need, the Bay seems to provide it to you through someone else. Just like I found you through Droop E, and how I found Droop E through Fik, and Fik thru DJ Amen, and DJ Amen from our 707 roots. Remember you are always provided everything you need to survive and thrive no matter how desperate and shitty the situation may seem. And to flip that coin no matter how fuckin TIGHT life is going for you, never let your guard down and slip up and stop giving a fuck. I know it probably seems to you next to impossible, but I was a fuckin badass boss 15 year old once, and I was certain I would NEVER go half of the places I have frequented since, so just file that in the back of the Domepiece. Don't forget to be a fuckin kid too, and live it up. Being an adult, despite the possessions and freedoms and shit is REALLY not as Tight as it used to seem like it would be. Well, I take that back. Sometimes it is. But sometimes it FUCKING SUCKS too so in the words of Billy Madison, when the helluv fat kid said he wants to go to HIKE SCHOOL, I say to you "STAY HERE, STAY AS LONG AS YOU CAN, FOR THE LUV OF BAY YOU GOTTA CHERISH IT!" And I know you do. And that's why TH.C LUVS You. And your brother. And your dad. And def your moms, who probably never gets enough credit for how incredibly TIGHT, HELLUV she is. And probably your uncle or cousin or someone else that I aint heard of yet, but I am sure exists somewhere. Stay on the Dark Side of the Moon and let's SPREAD THIS BAYLUV TIGHTNESS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

With all of the sincerest support, BayLuv, and friendship I can muster, now and always,

Until next time,

El Jefe Helluv